Because We All Need A Cousin Larry
I am Balki Bartokomous.
Fans of 80s pop culture will remember, with mixed reviews, the off-beat comedy series Perfect Strangers, which featured everything we’d come to expect from a primetime, major network sitcom : fish-out-of-water storylines, an immediately recognizable catch phrase (“Now we do the dance of joy”), and a laugh track. For the uninitiated, the show’s two main characters, Larry and Balki, are previously unaware distant cousins, the latter hailing from a fictional Greek island called Mypos. When Balki arrives in Chicago to live with “cousin Larry,” they duo engages in all kinds of zany hijinks, tomfoolery, and skullduggery.
Ultimately, the cousins learn as much about themselves as they do about each other. Through Larry, Balki begins to assimilate to American culture; through Balki, Larry learns to level out his own neuroses and live a little. While the sitcom wasn’t hoarding Emmys, it does remind us of the power of relationships, even if those relationships are formed in the most unlikely of ways.
I first reached out to Rich Czyz in November of 2017. At that point, I hadn’t committed to my current writing schedule, hadn’t started a blog, and hadn’t a clue about how to publish. But I had just finished his book, The Four O’Clock Faculty: A Rogue Guide To Revolutionizing Professional Development, and knew that he, too, was in New Jersey. So, without much of a plan in mind, I emailed him.
Because I am Balki Bartokomous, and Rich is my cousin Larry.
We met on a cold January afternoon, and like Balki, I had countless questions.
Did you self-publish?
What is your writing schedule?
How do you balance your writing with your day job?
Did you have to hire an editor?
The list went on and on, as did our meeting, which clocked in at well over 90 minutes. Not once did Rich glaze over at my incessant questions. Never did his secretary pop in with a previously fabricated excuse to get this stranger out of his office. His patience was remarkable. His advice was sage. And he did it all because he’s the kind of person who would do it all.
In the year since that original request for a meeting, I’ve blown up Rich’s Voxer far too much, I tag him on all my blog posts, and I’ve marveled, from a virtual distance, at the success of his book, blog, and career. So when the time came for me to consider someone to write the foreword for my debut book, I thought immediately of my cousin Larry. In typical Rich form, he accepted despite what I can only assume is a barrage of similar requests from people all over the country.
A year ago, I had no idea who Rich Czyz was. Now, his words will be forever linked with a book I was never sure I would write until he convinced me that I could.
We are blessed, in this life of education, to meet and connect with people over whom we can have a profound influence, in whom we can see and foster greatness, and from whom we can learn about ourselves. There’s no shortage of #relationshipsmatter posts, memes, and TED talks from which we can draw inspiration, but without the requisite reflection on our own relationships, however they may form, such inspiration is second-hand, once removed.
I challenge you to find your cousin Larry, and if you are fortunate enough to become someone else’s cousin Larry, accept your Balkis with patience and humanity.
Then, together, find a quiet place and do the dance of joy.