The place was spotless.
I mean spit-shined, dust mote free, a-place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place clean. The vacuum cleaner treads were still fresh when I got back to the townhouse on that Friday night. Frankly, I walked through our place with an overwhelming sense of calm because it was always me who cleaned and tidied, so it was refreshing to have some help.
Before I could form the first syllable of a “thank you” to Lew, the roommate who was responsible for the deed, the doorbell rang.
“Hi, is Lew here. I’m Brittany,” she said.
And then it made sense. There was nothing altruistic or even bro about Lew’s frenetic Friday cleaning. He was staging. Posturing. Playacting. He cleaned up because he had a date.
He cleaned up because he had to.
I won’t confirm or deny that I put a silent hex on that date, but let’s just say that Lew’s wife’s name is Kristin, not Brittany.
Every day in school leadership, we are faced with that which we have to do vs. that which we want to do. None of us is particularly enthused about signing timesheets or sitting through hours long meetings, but each is an implicit part of our job, like it or not. Conversely, all of us would like to be in classrooms more, co-teaching a lesson, or running a lunch bunch with a group of kids.
And then, of course, there’s the constant specter of the unknown, looming over playground incidents and unannounced parent visits. It’s hard to clean up when we can’t see the mess coming.
How, then, can we negotiate the two?
For me, cleaning up is rooted in my locus of control.
Recognizing the pull of wanting to play in a playground football game against having to finish up my budget proposal, only one of which has a due date, demands that I clean up my accounts.
Identifying when a teacher needs an extra prep or an “is everything alright” conversation helps me clean up our building culture.
Emailing a mom after witnessing her child deliver a random act of kindness helps clean up that child’s perception of himself.
Calling a pop-up vent session with leadership colleagues, via Zoom or at a local brewery, allows us to clean up our sanity.
At a time when our collective control switch is constantly being toggled for us, it’s imperative that we clean up as much as we can, on our terms.
Not on Brittany’s. Bless her heart.
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